


Don't let us interrupt

by lunaemoth



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bees, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2020-10-18 14:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20640581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaemoth/pseuds/lunaemoth
Summary: Watching Dorian and Vaxus try to keep their feelings secret is quite entertaining, in Varric's opinion.He isn't the only one to think so. They should make a play out of this, a comedy, definitely.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ajir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajir/gifts).

> Written for [Ajir/trashwarden](https://trashwarden.tumblr.com/) as part of the ["Help Amazon" charity event](https://ashkaarishok.tumblr.com/post/187683331050/ashkaarishok-smuttine-and-here-we). Vaxus Trevelyan is her very cute OC and it was a delight to write for her prompt. <3
> 
> Also available on [tumblr](https://ashkaarishok.tumblr.com/post/187714633165/dont-let-us-interrupt).

Bent over his desk, Varric was writing on his draft for the Inquisition tale. He paused and put his work aside just long enough to elbow the annoying Tevinter reading over his shoulder.

“Ouch!” 

“Would you stop it, Sparkler? It’s distracting.”

Dorian stepped away as he rubbed his side. The dwarf had a mean elbow. “I’m just checking where you’re at.”

“Right,” Varric drawled with a judgmental look. “I’m sure it has nothing to do with you.”

“Well,” Dorian started with a hand to his heart, “if you need some help to describe me, I’d be happy to…”

“Already done. Thanks, Sparkler.” 

Dorian immediately re-entered the fray, craning his neck to catch a glimpse of the pages. Varric’s hand, stained with a little bit of black, pushed Dorian’s chin up and away while the writer rolled his eyes.

“Dorian, Dorian,” Varric sighed, “I told you already—”

“Dorian?”

At the interruption, the mage leaped away from Varric and straightened while clearing his throat. “Ahem! Yes, Inquisitor?” He rested a hand on the back of Varric’s chair and the other on his hip, crossing his ankles like he hadn’t been squabbling a moment before. 

Vaxus raised a fist to his lips to hide his smile of amusement. “Is there something wrong?” he asked once he had gotten his voice under control.

“Not at all! We were just talking about Varric’s work.” Before the writer could speak up, Dorian walked to Vaxus’ side. “Your meeting has ended I see. Excellent. Shall we eat?” He turned the Inquisitor around with a palm stretched over the small of his back. The contact was brief. Dorian crossed his hands behind his back, his fingers stretching in memory of the touch. 

Forgotten, Varric watched the couple leave with a little smirk. It was funny how they tried so hard to stay proper and yet always managed to stand or walk close to each other as soon as they were distracted. 

The writer took his pencil and went back to work, adding after much thought:  _ “The Inquisitor, exhausted by his battle against the Elder One and his trek through the snow, was watched throughout the night by his most faithful companions. The mysterious Tevinter was first among them.”  _

Putting the final dot on his recollection of the Battle of Haven, Varric glanced at his notes. He had pages and pages about the relationship between the Inquisitor and companions. The one with Dorian was taking a good part of them. Now he needed to make a choice on what to include in the Tale. Of course, it wasn’t the final draft, he could always edit it later, but this was a sensitive topic from the get-go. They were trying to be discreet. They didn’t fool him and most of those who mattered, but still, it was their choice. He should respect it. However, this was an important part of history, and Varric would be loathed to erase an important part of the Herald’s story by glossing over this romance. Maker knew some would take this as an invitation to ignore any hint that the Herald of Andraste might have loved a man who happened to be a mage and a Tevinter. (How scandalous.) 

Sighing, Varric put his work aside. He’d have to think about it some more, maybe see if Vaxus ever managed to convince his lover to stop hiding.

oOo

Trying to catch his breath after a difficult fight to close a rift, Varric leaned on a rock while watching Dorian and Vaxus. The first was fussing over the second with all the appropriate drama. Vaxus was taking it with a wide smile, so clearly smitten that it was a wonder hearts weren’t popping out of his eyes.

Shaking his head in amusement, Varric looked to the side and met Vivienne’s eyes. Sitting with perfect poise on a nearby rock, the Enchanter granted him a conniving smirk. Crossing her arms with her staff resting between her legs, she went back to enjoying the scene, worthy of a theater. 

Varric hauled himself on his own rock and imitated her pose with Bianca between his feet. He might as well enjoy the show! Hopefully, he would remember most of it to write it down once they made camp.

This way, when Dorian finally was placated enough by Vaxus that he remembered they weren’t alone and looked up, he froze at their sight.

“By all means, dear, don’t let us interrupt you,” Vivienne said with a magnanimous hand gesture. 

Dorian cleared his throat loudly, took a step back from Vaxus and straightened. “I— Ahem. We’re done.”

“Already? What a shame. We were reaching the good part.”

Dorian flushed. “I have no idea what you mean.”

“Sparkler,” Varric said, taking pity. “You called him ‘ _ amatus _ ’ in the middle of the fight.”

“Wha— I did not!”

“You did,” Vaxus concurred with a dopey smile.

“Kaffas,” Dorian cursed under his breath before crossing his arms. “Well, it slipped! What in the Void were you doing?!” he asked while poking Vaxus’ chest with his index.

“Slipping between you and a Rage Demon,” Varric pointed out.

“Obviously,” Vivienne said.

“Are you two taking his side?” Dorian asked, outraged.

“Simply trying to keep you on track,” Vivienne replied nonchalantly. “You were at: ‘you fool! I’m the only fire anyone should be worried about around here’.”

“A good one,” Varric commented. “I’ll write it down.”

“Passable,” Vivienne tempered. “But do go on, dear. Don’t keep the Inquisitor waiting for his kiss.”

The light flush which had faded came back with a vengeance while Dorian spluttered. 

Chuckling, Vaxus stepped in and brought them back to reality: “We shall move on before night falls. The Caer is still far.”

They continued on their way with a minimum of teasing. After awhile Dorian came to walk by Varric’s side. 

“Will you mention this in your book?” he asked.

“Should I not?”

Dorian hesitated before he lifted his chin defiantly. “Well, if you do, make sure to say I kissed him first and blew his mind.”

Varric burst into laughter. “Will do. Shall I add you stole his heart?”

“For the most terrible rituals of blood magic which allowed me to seduce him so I could carry out my ghastly Tevinter plans, absolutely.”

Sniggering, Varric patted Dorian’s back. They launched into a competition to come up with the most outrageous proclamations. It only ended when Vaxus turned around from his scouting position to hand a flower of Crystal Grace to Dorian with a soft smile. “It made me think of you,” he said as an explanation before walking away, leaving behind a blushing Tevinter.

Varric shook his head in fond exasperation and raised his hands to the sky. “I’m outdone. I can’t invent anything more cheesy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That last scene was inspired by this [wonderful fanart of the two lovebirds](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1rzO8CsF5w6yx5cmso_iJe9INMmxssTWL).


	2. Delicate young love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation, as a Secret Santa gift for Ajir.  
Merry Christmas, dear!

Vax and Cassandra were training in the courtyard of the fort they had just won. They had nothing to do but wait for the Inquisition’s troops to arrive and take charge of the building. The previous occupants had been disposed of with a few useful spells by everyone’s favorite necromancer. Now the decoration just needed a full overhaul.

For lack of anything better to do (just give him some money, an architect and a designer, and he could solve the problem, but, alas, so far in this countryside, it wasn't meant to be…) Dorian was on the battlements, pretending to keep watch over the surrounding lands. He was more focused on what went on below. Although ‘focused’ wasn’t the right word. On the contrary, he was rather distracted.

“_The smile on your face.”_

Jumping in surprise, Dorian cursed and glared at the young man crouched over the crenels. “Fasta vass, Cole. Would you stop it?”

“_The touch of your hand._”

“That too. Stop reading my mind and speaking out loud for everyone to hear.”

Cole turned to look at him, blinking. “No-one can hear us.”

“I can.”

“But those are your thoughts.”

“Precisely! I don’t need to hear them spoken. In fact, I’d rather not.”

“Why? They’re loud.”

Dorian cleared his throat and blushed slightly. “Yeah, well… That’s the issue, isn’t it?”

“I don’t understand. You’re right. He needs you.” 

“It’s complicated.”

“In your head, yes. Not in his.”

Dorian spluttered and straightened. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Cole tilted his head back to meet the mage’s eyes. “You make it complicated.”

“You little—” Dorian reached for the spirit who disappeared immediately. “Come back here!”

In the courtyard, Cassandra and Vaxus paused and looked up at the commotion.

“What’s wrong?” Vax called.

Dorian waved at him and shouted: “Nothing!” He grumbled in Tevene to himself: “I’m just going to murder him.”

“No, you won’t.”

Twirling around to find Cole behind him, Dorian stared, exasperated, with his hands on his hips.

“You’re too nice to do that. You like me.” Cole tilted his head in surprise. “I like you too.”

“Yeah, well…” Dorian cleared his throat. “Everyone likes me, I’m likable like that.”

“Not everyone does, but Vax likes you the most. It’s mutual. Why don’t you tell him?”

Dorian’s right eyebrow started to twitch in a remarkable attempt at independence. “It’s not that easy or simple.”

Instead of the expected ‘why’ that Dorian had left himself open for, Cole hummed and then offered: “I could say it for you.”

“No!” Dorian shouted before coughing. “I mean, no, thank you. That’s kind of you to offer, but those kind of things are far too intimate to use middlemen.”

“Cassandra c—”

“Or middlewomen!”

Cole seemed to ponder this. “So… you wait?”

“Yes, exactly. Thank you for understanding.”

“Alright.” The boy disappeared again.

Dorian let out a sigh of relief and went back to ‘country watching’. How fascinating: trees, grass, a path… and more trees… He glanced back at the dreary walls. Really, just a few hangings would do wonders to this place!

oOo

“You’re distracted,” Cassandra commented after she managed to beat her opponent a few times. 

Vaxus gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I’ll try to focus.”

“We can stop,” she offered graciously. “We have already trained much today.”

“Not much else to do around here,” he commented, but he lowered his sword gratefully.

Together, they walked to the well and pulled a bucket of freshwater to quench their thirst and then freshen up a bit.

Cassandra was shaking her hands to let them dry when she asked out of the blue (she had tried to find a subtle way to bring the subject, but subtlety just wasn’t her thing, she’d leave it to the dwarf): “How are things with Dorian?”

He beamed. “Well, thank you!”

“I’m glad,” she said honestly.

Vaxus was rubbing his face thoroughly and seemed willing to let the subject drop without developing about his feelings, as he often did. Cassandra pursed her lips. She hadn’t fret all morning about this to leave it at that!

“I noticed he has been staring at you a lot.”

“Really?” Vaxus looked up, his interest caught. Squatting in front of the bucket with drops on his eyelashes, he looked like an eager puppy. His eyes drifted to the silhouette of Dorian on the battlements, and his lips stretched into a smile. “I thought I was the only one.”

Cassandra snorted. “No, I assure you, it’s mutual.” She cleared his throat. “The other day, you mentioned something when you were drinking…”

Vax frowned in worry. “Oh, shit. What did I say? It was a bad day. Sad memories and all that, you know. But don’t listen to me when I’m drunk, I get all…”

“Whiny. Yes. I noticed,” Cassandra replied, not without sarcasm.

He made a face at her before finally standing. “Sorry!”

“Nevermind. You just wondered, at length, if Dorian’s feelings were as deep as yours.”

“Oh, Maker…”

“I thought I should help you to verify it…”

“What?”

“Yes. Sorry about that in advance, Vax, but it’s for a good cause.”

“Wha—?”

Before Vaxus could even hope to understand what she had planned, Cole appeared right in front of him. Cassandra was taking a few steps back. 

“Please hold this,” Cole said as he put a box in Vaxus’ hands. 

Vax accepted it naively, although he glanced inside, confused, to find it filled with…

“Bees?”

Cole dropped a rune in the bucket of water before disappearing. The bucket exploded. Startled by the noise, bees flew out of their hive with a vengeance.

“Whaaaaaaaaaaa!” Vaxus screamed as he dropped the box.

“Dorian! Vax needs help!” Cassandra shouted. 

The mage was beside his lover in a blink with a beautiful fade step. The bees were incinerated in the next blink.

“Sorry, bees,” Cole murmured sadly by Cassandra’s side. She patted his shoulder distractedly, focused on the two lovers.

Dorian was checking Vax frenetically. “Are you alright? How bad is it? Did they sting you in the mouth? Let me check. Open up!” Holding Vax’s face with two hands, he checked all visible skin. “What in the Maker’s name happened? Was it one of Sera’s grenade? What were you thinking of, holding that?”

Vaxus emitted a whimper, but Dorian’s hands patting him were distracting him too much for a reply.

“You’re lucky you’re not allergic! Which you only know because it happened before! Really, Amatus, twice is pushing it. And why are you all wet?! Ah, kaffas. Just when I was thinking how much I could count on you; here I am, always the one saving your neck...”

Vaxus attempted to defend himself, but his reply was unintelligible.

“I beg your pardon? Don’t mumble, Amatus, it’s unbecoming.”

“I said… It’s their fault!” Vaxus said as he pointed at the two witnesses of the touching scene.

Cole waved. 

Cassandra swept away the accusation with the back of her hand. “Oh, don’t let us interrupt. You should probably do a full check-up, Dorian. You never know if bees didn’t get inside his clothes.”

“What?!” Vaxus repeated, baffled by his friend’s behavior.

Dorian had caught up much faster. “You’re absolutely right, Cassandra. I should, really, for his own good. Keep watch for me, would you?” And he dragged Vaxus toward the room they had chosen as quarters.

Cole turned toward Cassandra, tilting his head up to meet her eyes with a hopeful look. “Did we do good?”

“Yes, Cole, I think we did,” she replied with a dreamy smile. Ah, love…

“But Dorian didn’t say he loved him.”

“Sometimes, actions speak louder than words,” she explained patiently as she climbed up the stairs to the battlements. “He will speak up, sooner or later. In the meantime, Vaxus just needs a reassurance once in a while. Young love can be delicate like that.”

Cole looked toward the keep. “They’re happy.”

“Of course, they are. Come now, don’t spy on them.”

“It’s hard not to listen. They’re loud.”

She made an embarrassed noise and flushed.

“I meant their thoughts.”

She cleared her throat and dutifully stared at the horizon. “Well, then, busy yourself. Why don’t you show me those tricks Varric taught you?”

“You don’t like them.”

“I just don’t like them when Varric does them.” 

Later, Vaxus came to find Cassandra on the battlements. She was alone. Cole had gone to explore the surroundings.

“So… Bees.”

“I won’t apologize,” she warned him.

He made a sad puppy face.

She groaned in annoyance. “No.”

“I got stung, Cassandra! Stung!”

“Was it worth it?”

“Well…” He hesitated, dithered and glanced over his shoulder at Dorian.

The mage was making a fire to eat up their dinner: the rests of a meal prepared by Cole (used to watching the cooks work at Skyhold, he was thus the only decent cook of the group, which said a lot about the rest of them, bested by someone who didn't _ need _to eat). 

Vax finally admitted: “Maybe.”

“Then get over it.”

“You’re ruthless,” he complained. “But, thank you… I guess? Your help is… terrifying but appreciated.”

“Young love,” she commented simply.

“Right.” He glanced at what she was holding. “Oh, did you finish that book? Can you lend it to me yet?”

“No.”

“Really, I think you owe me. If not an apology, then at least a book,” he pointed out.

“Urgh, fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few quotes (_"the smile on your face", "the touch of your hand"_) are taken from the song _“When You Say Nothing at All”_ by Ronan Keating, provided as inspiration by Ajir.


	3. All is fair in love and for cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written as part of an art trade this time!  
And [here is Ajir's part of the trade](https://ashkaarishok.tumblr.com/post/619620353207123968/latefortevinter-trashwarden-my-part-of), a beautiful fanart of our two Inquisitors with Bull and Sera. Check it out!

The dinner rush had not yet started in the Herald Rest. Vaxus stepped in and smiled at those who greeted him but went directly to the little corner in which the Iron Bull could usually be found. The Chargers were talking and playing further away, for once, with Sutherland’s crew if he wasn’t mistaken.

The Iron Bull was speaking with Sera. 

“Hey,” Bull greeted him when he joined them. “The Council finally ended?”

“At least,” Vax mumbled as he sat down heavily. He smoothed back his hair and the little curls that had managed to escape while he resisted tearing his hair out. The Council meetings, as essential as they were, could get long and tedious. “I need a drink,” he grumbled to himself, going to stand up again.

Bull waved to someone behind his back and a tankard appeared next to Vaxus’ elbow. 

“Oh, thanks,” he told the waitress who smiled in answer. 

“Put it on my tab, Helda,” Bull asked her before Vax could do more than reach for his pocket.

“Will do,” the young woman agreed as she left, with Sera’s eyes following her.

Vaxus took a grateful sip of the beer. Not necessarily his favorite, but it would do for his parched throat.

“So, we were talking about you,” Sera commented with a mischievous grin.

“Oh, I fear the worst,” Vax replied with a chuckle.

“More specifically,” the Iron Bull said, slowly, with a teasing tone, “you and Dorian.”

Clearing his throat loudly, Vaxus hid his mouth and a rising blush behind his tankard. While he didn’t mind teasing and pranks — it reminded him nicely of his childhood — his relationship with Dorian was a topic a little more delicate. He chose to play dumb: “Oh, what about us?”

Their combined smiles indicated that it was just a little too dumb. He had left an opening.

The Iron Bull replied: “We were wondering if you need any—”

“No,” Vaxus interrupted hastily. He’d rather not hear the end of this sentence. There were too many options for it, and none were welcome. Especially not from the Iron Bull. While he wasn’t as jealous as he once was about the Qunari’s relationship with Dorian, Vax could do without any reminder of his greater experience and confidence.

“Are you sure?” Bull asked with a raised eyebrow, hiding his amusement. “You never have enough oil. When you think you used enough, you should use twice as more, just to be safe. Believe me, I know.”

Really, Vax should have known better than to try drinking, but he still choked on his mouthful of beer. The alcohol coming up briefly through his nose hurt. At least he didn’t snort, and thankfully Dorian wasn’t here to witness this… disaster.

“Eww,” Sera commented with a face at Bull. “Too much information.”

“You know I’m right. The backdoor needs to be oiled.”

“Eww!”

“Don’t knock it until you tried it. I know ladies have less interest in it and have other options, but it’s still—”

“No,” Sera refused with a face of disgust. “The backdoor is for other stuff.”

Coughing and rubbing his nose against his sleeve, Vaxus was grateful for his friends’ little debate. Their distraction allowed him to recover. He didn’t know if ‘oil’ was one of the best or worst possible options that Bull could have chosen to finish his sentence. In public? Probably the worst… no, there could always be worse.

“Even for the main door, a little oil can go a long way.”

“I don’t need oil. I have other stuff,” Sera replied while sticking her tongue out pointedly.

Clearing his throat loudly, Vaxus tried to bring the conversation back to safer (and more appropriate for a public place) topics: “Anyway. We’re fine thank you.”

Their attention zeroed in on him, and their smiles were much too predatory.

“That’s good to hear,” Bull commented.

“So, when is the wedding for? I’m calling dibs on the cake.”

“You can’t call dibs on the cake, Sera. A wedding cake is to be shared,” Bull pointed out with a hint of a pout.

There were way too many people with a sweet tooth on his team, Vax realized distractedly. 

“Not to eat it, silly… Well, not only for that. To make it.”

“You are not going anywhere near my wedding cake,” Vax replied without a thought because the idea was just too terrifying.

“Ah, so there will be a wedding cake!” Sera pointed out triumphantly.

“Th-that’s not what I said!”

“That’s what you implied,” Bull observed with a smirk.

These two working together were scary, Vax decided. They should never be allowed to ally against him. “I will shut up now.”

“No, no, by all means, don’t let us interrupt. You were saying about your wedding?” Bull insisted.

“Nothing. I said nothing.”

“Uhuh,” Sera mocked.

“It has to be away from Tevinter, really. Don’t let Dorian convince you otherwise,” Bull said.

“Yeah, no need to go out there. Here is fine,” Sera agreed. “I’ll take care of the decorations.”

“You will not,” Vaxus denied because Dorian would never forgive him if it was even just implied that Vax ever agreed to such an idea.

“Oh, so you have an opinion on your wedding’s decoration?” Bull asked with a falsely innocent tone. “Will there be flowers?”

Sera made a disparaging noise. “It needs bees, that’s what it needs.”

“Not everything needs bees.”

“How bees could be involved?” Vaxus asked in morbid curiosity at the same time as Bull’s reply. He remembered being attacked by some, not so long ago (damn Cassandra and Cole), so he tended to agree with Bull, but curiosity would kill the cat and all that…

Sera beamed at being asked and threw herself in a long and terrifying explanation of her bee wedding decorations. Bull threw Vax an unimpressed look for egging her on, but in his opinion, that was better than uncomfortable questions about his wedding.

Krem left the loud group of Chargers for some quiet and came to join them for a drink. Catching Sera in the middle of her explanation, he raised a surprised eyebrow and asked when she finally took a breath: “What brought this on?”

Bull immediately jumped on the opportunity to bring them back on track: “Vaxus and Dorian’s wedding.”

“Oh, did you plan it yet?” Krem asked with a happily surprised expression.

Vax froze because, what? Why did Krem, who was just an acquaintance, wouldn’t seem surprised by such an idea? “There’s no wedding,” he babbled. “They are just kidding.”

“Ah,” Krem said in understanding, nodding with compassion. “You shouldn’t tease, Chief, that’s not kind,” he chided Bull, elbowing him. 

Sera blew a raspberry. “That’s the only way to get this one moving. If we leave them alone we’ll wait for years. I want cake.”

“We want cakes,” Bull corrected with an agreeing nod.

Vaxus looked at them, gaping in false outrage. “You’re doing this for cake?!” 

“Yeah!” they shouted in unison.

Bursting in laughter, Vax needed a moment to recover before commenting: “I can just ask for the cooks to make you some…”

They smirked eagerly. Krem shook his head and sighed. “Well played, Chief. Well played,” he said before leaving.

“That’s what you wanted all along?” Vax grumbled. “Couldn’t you just have asked?”

“Where is the fun in that?” Bull asked before tilting his head to glance at the tavern’s door. “Ah, Dorian’s here. You’ll be able to pitch your ideas, Sera…”

Straightening, Vax looked over his shoulder and met Dorian’s eyes. The mage smiled at him and started to make his way toward them. Standing up hastily and leaving his empty tankard, Vax took his leave. “Well, that was fun, and thank you for the drink, but I’ll leave you for now.”

The Iron Bull laughed at his strategic retreat, but Sera shouted at his back:

“Don’t forget our cakes!!”

Vaxus caught Dorian before he could come too close to the two crazy ones and turned him around with a warning hiss: “Run.”

Raising a surprised eyebrow, Dorian let himself be moved nonetheless and asked: “What or who are we running from?”

“Bull and Sera.”

“Ah. That makes sense. I was just coming to get you anyway. Would you like to go back to your quarters?”

Vax blushed at his lover’s seducing smile and cleared his throat while nodding. “Yeah. Of course.”

And if they indeed needed some more oil the following day, Vax brought such a fancy cake that the Iron Bull only offered him a little knowing smirk before giving him what he needed. The heavy pat on his shoulder wasn’t necessary, but Vax would take it instead of any lewd remark or suggestion.

Sometimes, he didn’t know if he had the worst or best friends.


End file.
